How To Break Up With Someone Nicely (1 STEP = CLEAN BREAK)
So how do you break up with someone nicely?
Breaking-up with someone is HARD… especially if you care about the person. I’m going to show you how to QUICKLY make a clean break but also how to end a relationship nicely in a way that honors HIM AND YOU, in ONE STEP.
If you’re like many of my clients, you are at a place in your life where you want to be in THE relationship with someone you will share your life with and grow old with. And if that’s not the person you’re dating, you may know it’s time to break up– but let’s have you do it in a way that makes a clean break and honors both you and him.
How to Break Up with Someone Nicely
Only Takes ONE STEP.
Isn’t that exciting?
The only thing you need to do is help him understand that
being together is inconsistent with the future you are each creating
So tell me, what are some examples of the things YOU want your future to include? Is it kids, travel, inner-city living… whatever it is, this is YOUR dream and you are the only one responsible for it.
Why is this the best approach to a break-up? It’s honest, clear, and it’s not personal. Many people give a bunch of reasons and excuses and they are either petty like “I hate the way you chew” or way too vague like “I’m just not feeling it anymore” or “I need to do my own thing” or “this just isn’t working”.
That is so frustrating for the other person and quite frankly it’s a sign that you haven’t done the honest work with yourself that you need to do for any relationship to work.
But letting someone know that your goals have changed or that you are finally clear about your goals and that they are not a match for this relationship is a gift to you both. Now, you both have the opportunity to find a puzzle piece that fits instead of trying to force a round peg into a square hole.
How do I say this?
Here are some examples:
“I really enjoy our time together, but I have to think about my future. I know I want ____ and since that’s not in the cards for us, it just doesn’t make sense for us to continue.”
Now here’s the thing. You can’t waffle or waver on this. Unless you find out that he is in fact in alignment with the fulfillment of your dreams than you can’t become uncertain simply because he’s disappointed or feels bad.
People get disappointed. People won’t always like your decisions, especially if it impacts them. But your job isn’t to make him happy, it’s to make YOU happy. So doing a half-way break-up is just a perfect recipe for neither of you to actually move on. NOW THAT is cruel.
So how do you make that clean break without being harsh?
“I care about you and would like to stay connected and be friends in the future, but I also want to make sure we both have a clean break and move on. So let’s touch base in a few months”.
It needs to be long enough, to allow any attachment to the relationship to subside.
But what if you’ve only been dating for a few weeks and it’s more about compatibility than future goals?
“I have to come clean here. I wanted to really explore this, because you are a lot of what I’m looking for, but I am looking for something really specific when it comes to who I commit to, and this just isn’t it.”
Again, what works about this is that it isn’t personal to HIM. You’re basically letting him know that most people on the planet wouldn’t make the cut, so it’s not that there is something WRONG with him, he’s just not your match.
And whatever you do, DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. That’s the part women get wrong a LOT. They feel guilty and bad instead of being clear. He’s a grown man and can definitely handle it, so talk to him that way.
Alright, now that you know to end a relationship nicely and make it a clean break, it’s time to start looking ahead.
First, get a taste of our Power Love Project by signing up for the CLEAN SLATE exercise, which is a great start for moving on.
Secondly, be sure to check out our website so you can learn more about what a POWER LOVE relationship might look like!
Love yourself. Love your Life. Fall in Love…. Don’t settle.