How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone
Are you a powerful woman who also becomes that crazy girl obsessing over some guy?
No one wants to feel like that girl, especially as a GROWN WOMAN, so watch the video to learn how to Stop Obsessing Over Someone
Whether he’s a massive crush, an ex or the man you just started dating, we women have the capacity to completely obsess over a guy. It’s the worst! You can’t get him out of your head, you keep checking your phone hoping to run into him and reading into everything he says or does… and so on. The good news is, changing this somewhat embarrassing behavior starts from the inside and this is my personal and professional expertise!
Obsessing over a guy almost always boils down to 3 things:
1. Boredom – adding unnecessary drama into your life.
2. Insecurity – needing that validation from him to feel settled.
3. Scarcity – you know you’re living inside of a scarcity mindset when it just has to work out with him because there’s no one else.
Before we continue, scroll down to the comment section and tell me:
Which one are you most susceptible to?
Now the best way to stop obsessing over someone is to ASSUME you are susceptible to all three: boredom, insecurity, and scarcity. And deal with THAT, starting right now.
BOREDOM – You might be busy as all heck but also look at how much time you spend thinking about him? This is a clear indicator that either you have too much time on your hands or you are simply checked out of your life, not present. You’re living in your head instead of your life. Get ENGAGED in your life. Is your life packed with the things you LOVE? Are you experiencing them fully? Is your time spent with friends, joyous and fulfilling, or do you waste it by complaining or being intoxicated? When you’re outside, do you let yourself feel the breeze in your hair and the sun on your cheeks or are you thinking about the next place you need to be. At work, are you challenging yourself to thrive and connect to the people around you or are you going through the motions?
If you have time to obsess over him, then consider you’re bored. And if you’re bored, consider you’re being boring. So STOP IT! Get out of your head and into your life.
INSECURITY – This seems to be an area we women are always working on. So I’m not going to say all the things you already know about this.
Consider the part you don’t want to face is that he is NOT thinking about you the way, or as much as you are thinking about him. And resisting that only perpetuates the cycle of insecurity and need for validation.
This is that part of you that sends a text. Doesn’t hear back so questions the text and then sends another one to make up for the first text. Then feels stupid for sending another text so sends another one to apologize for sending too many texts. STOP IT!
What’s bothering you is that you are making him your whole world and he isn’t. But you should never make anyone or anything your whole world! Otherwise, you will always lose perspective and you will feel like that crazy girl you’re trying so hard not to be.
Now, I don’t know that there is any 100% cure to insecurity, but I do know you can train yourself to think and behave differently so you can learn how to stop obsessing over someone.
Here’s where to start.
- Believe what he says, but don’t inflate what he says.
- When they say they like you, they like you. That doesn’t mean they want to make babies with you.
- When he says he’s interested, or is no longer interested, he really isn’t. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you and it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with him.
- Correct your negative self-talk and replace it with loving, validating words that you need E.g.
There’s something uniquely beautiful about me.
- And spend time with people who DO appreciate you and want to spend time with you. Appreciate THEM.
SCARCITY – It’s so easy to fall into the mindset trap of scarcity; needing him to want you as much as you want him because he’s seemingly the only one out there for you. Yes it’s true, Love is rare. You’re not interested in 95% of the men out there and 95% of them aren’t interested in you. But that still leaves you a LOT of potential men and you need to shift your eyeballs so that you can see how many great men are out there and how many men think you’re great too! You can step out of scarcity by dating other people, or realize the other people you COULD be dating. Once you step out of the scarcity mindset, you won’t NEED things to work out with this guy, and you can finally breathe, and move on, with or without him.
Now that you know HOW to stop obsessing over someone, I have two next steps for you.
First, sign up to access my free Power Love Workshop. You will feel amazingly empowered by the end of it.
Secondly, join our Facebook community of Powerful Women Looking for Love.