Dating Exclusively (ARE EITHER OF US READY?)
Ready for Dating Exclusively?
Now that we’re all grown up, it almost seems silly to talk about going steady or being exclusive. So how do you know when you should be dating exclusively then?
One the biggest mistakes my clients ALMOST always make is to aim for immediate exclusivity. Rushing a good thing is never a good idea. So how do you know the best time to start talking commitment?
First, check for the following basics.
- If you’ve gotten to know him in various settings and situations with other people. Including being at dinner, at a rodeo, lounging around at home and out with friends. All of this gives you a clearer picture of the dynamics of your compatibility.
- There’s an obvious mutual care and respect for each other.
- He’s not dating other women.
- He wants the same future you do.
- He’s not playing games and you’re not left guessing his feelings.
- You’ve seen each other’s humanity beyond impressing each other. This means you’ve let each other see the real you and still like what you see.
- You can keep yourself grounded in your own life, values, and personal priorities.
If you were able to check off or say yes to the basics above, it may be a good time to commit! Let me know in the comments below.
If you have ever committed too soon
what would you have done differently?
Second, make sure YOU are ready to commit. Being exclusive doesn’t just mean not dating anyone else. You’re making a commitment to the relationship. Once you’re committed you need to be ready to take the good along with the bad and ugly. And guess what, he’s going to see yours too. The shift from just dating to being in a committed relationship is taking your mindset from “IF” this is going to last to “HOW” it’s going to last.
- With the first, you always have one foot out the door. So, if you’re still feeling this guy out, then it’s a good idea to slow down. Do you know the “SLOW DOWN, YOU MOVE TO FAST” song?
- The best dating advice I ever heard was from my mother in my 30’s. “MY ADVICE FOR YOU,” she said, “IS TO GET TO KNOW THE GUY.” And she was right! If the relationship is really going to last, then there IS NO RUSH.
Third, make sure HE is ready to commit. If you’ve been seeing other people, it would be all over his face and actions if he wanted it differently. If you haven’t been seeing other people but he has, I don’t think he is the one to commit to. If you are clear you’re ready but aren’t sure if he is, let him know your intentions ASAP. If he’s not ALL OVER IT like white on rice, then he’s not in to you the same way you are in to him. You need to stop settling for crumbs. HOWEVER, if he is ALL OVER IT, then celebrate with a kiss and enjoy!
Now you should have a much better sense of whether to have THE TALK or not. And if you’re getting clear that you simply aren’t in the right relationship but want to go about it the POWER LOVE way, participate in my free Power Love Workshop. You will get a much better sense of what you want and what you deserve! Also be sure to access our Blast Your Past Workbook so you can start shedding your past to move forward in your love life a little lighter and a little brighter.